What can personal coaching help with?
My brand of personal coaching uses meditative practices, breath literacy, energy psychology, effective communication and embodiment techniques, to affect changes in the nervous system and make changes in the brain.
Through coaching we work on issues such as
I help my clients with reaching levels of acceptance in themselves about who they are and what they've experienced. This frees up energy for them to move forward with their lives and create who they want be.
You can read more about who I am and why I do this here.
Get in touch below to schedule a free first session to see if we can help.
What are the foundations of personal coaching?
There are several different modalities that I use under the general umbrella of personal coaching that have been foundational for my own practice and work with clients. It's by blending these techniques that we're able to create the best results in working with and through the issues you might be experiencing.
Developing body awareness and awareness of thoughts.
This a fundamental practice to develop in any kind of therapeutic or change work. It's creating a gap between you, the thoughts running through your mind and the feelings being experienced in your body, by detaching from them through the practice of observation. Your body and nervous system work together with the brain to provide feedback on whether the actions you're taking are meeting the needs you have. By developing nervous system sensitivity through body awareness practices we can start to create a bit of space between you and this sense data so we can extract the message in the feedback it's giving us and adjust course accordingly. Often times we get so wrapped up in our thoughts feelings and experiences we create identities out of them, which is why it's useful to have someone guide you through processes of detachment to build a different view of yourself. Body awareness is one type of meditation, there are others also we can use to communicate with your subconscious, which is where the majority of your decisions and behaviors arise from.
Developing breath awareness and breath literacy.
Breath awareness and breath regulation is the second foundational practice. One of the easiest and quickest ways we can affect our emotional state is through changing the way we breathe. The breath intriniscally linked to the autonomic nervous system, and is one of the fundamental ways we relate to the environment - by inhaling and exhaling it. It changes when our emotional state changes and by becoming breath aware, we can start to understand the patterns of breath that help create and support our emotional states. Then by choosing consciously how we'd like to breathe we become an active participant in deciding how we want to feel about any given circumstance. Changing the way you breathe changes everything. The breath is a huge ally in emotional self regulation, shifting our energy levels and maintaining our overall health.
03 Energy psychology
Exploring and reprogramming subconscious ideas and beliefs
Energy psychology or Somatic psychology is also a broad umbrella under which sit many potent modalities such as; Neuro Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique or Acupressure tapping, Psych-K, TRE exercises, Matrix Reimprinting and a whole host more ways of interacting with the subconscious mind through the body. The value in Energy psychology when blended with embodiment techniques is that it addresses the core assumptions held in the subconscious that are guiding the behaviors which are making our lives less than wonderful. By using these methods we can help release the emotional charge from memories or circumstances that feel heavy to think about so you can feel lighter. Freeing up energy that was being used to struggle against yourself internally, gets emotional energy moving in the body again so it can be better directed towards building the life you want to create, rather than resisting the one you want to avoid.
Building a better way to communicate for better relationships and a better life.
The founder of Non violent communication Marshall Rosenberg often said; "Words are windows or they're walls".
What he meant by that was; the way we communicate can either help create connection, or obstruct us from it. Working on effective communication, not just with others but with yourself, can help open windows and doors to deeper understanding, connection, and action that meets our needs and the needs of others, or it can create isolation, feeling unheard, not being understood, and disconnection from life. So much of our world and how we perceive it relies on the way we use language. How we articulate our thoughts and feelings, and how we listen to others - whether we're actually hearing them, or whether we're hearing our projections onto them.
The spoken word or 'logos' is a potent tool that can integrate or fragment. Part of healing is learning how to use your word to help make you stronger, feeling out words as stepping stones that don't compromise your integrity when you speak them, but rather feel solid underfoot. By working out strategies to speak from the body, internally and externally we work out ways to stay connected to life, even amidst the most testing conflicts.
Creating an embodiment that moves you to a fuller experience of self.
The final pillar in the process is Embodiment. While all of the pillars above can be included within the spectrum of Embodiment, as they entail the process of getting to know the subtleties of the body through meditation, learning to regulate with the body and emotional flow through breathwork, explore the subconscious through the body techniques with energy psychology, and learning to incorporate the body for gravity in our communication. Embodiment itself is about how you start showing up in your life, how you start to develop new and different embodiment's to expand your range of what you thought was possible for yourself and how you use your body in this world as a tool to create the life for you. Embodiment is a lifelong practice, for as long as you have a body, you have an embodiment, and the quality of your embodiment, in large part, determines the quality of your life.
FAQ & Testemonial
01 Is it like therapy?
There are similarities and crossovers - all of the techniques can have therapeutic effects.
Although a lot of what's being used differs from traditional talk therapy in that it usually works more directly with the body in the present moment which is where most of the emotional processing takes place. There is also the development of body awareness, and communication styles. Coaching also differs in that it's more directive, there's more of an action orientation, more practices and habits to develop and more accountability.
When I first started, I asked Tom to help me reconnect with my intuition. I can now say he did that and so much more. By accepting my inner world I started to feel the heart openness I was longing to feel again. I started to feel good about myself and then quite unexpectedly I started to feel so much more in peace in my relationships with others. I’d known this feeling before but I had lost it for a while somehow. I could have stopped the sessions, as the initial goal (and much more more) had been reached. But I simply don’t want to. I’m always curious about what’s going to come out of the next one. What I’ll discover or realise or simply be more aware of. I believe this process is (always) a work in progress and right now I’m amazed by it.
Thank you, Tom! Through your outstanding work, you already gave me more than words can describe. Can’t wait to see what’s coming next! - Ana
02 What are the effects?
People generally report a deeper sense of relaxation and peace, more self acceptance and feelings of freedom, no longer being controlled by their patterns. More at ease with their emotions, reduction in chronic feelings like anxiety, alleviation of feelings like shame or guilt, helping depression feel lighter with the ability to be more present. People find they're able to be less reactive and more responsive, more centred, less longing and reaching with more of a sense of purpose and direction. Better equipped with tools and techniques to use for themselves when trouble spots hit.
03 Are there any side effects?
Sometimes emotions can be in process for a day or two afterwards, and so occasionally people report minor emotional discomfort arising within the days following a session. But generally it passes quickly and can easily be remedied with rest and drinking plenty of water following a session. Once emotional tension has been released by the cells, the effect can be similar to that of detoxing. And so a continued practice of breathwork, movement and fluids helps the body to move anything that has been stuck through the lymphatic system toward elimination.
"Tom helped me using energy psychology, EFT, NLP, & Psych-K! He's very knowledgeable, trained & experienced, It was Truly awesome. I've paid good $$ to other professional practitioners who didn't do nearly as good a job as Tom! He has an intuitive feel for what to do, was very attentive, and took all the time that I needed. What a generous soul! I'm really grateful to him for what he did for me. He's a great guy and a truly caring person."
04 How quickly does it work?
Positive effects can often be felt very quickly, although a lot depends on the clients commitment to the process. Larger issues can take time, In the same way you'd go to the gym, you wouldn't expect results overnight.
Like everything this isn't a silver bullet, but for those willing to put in the work, coaching provides an invaluable resource and tools that you can carry with you on their journey.
"Tom was in tune and tailored everything to my needs which was awesome. He knew what he was doing and has an enormous amount of patience and quiet strength. Tom gave me the space to open up and express myself and when he listens, he really listens; not just with his ears but with everything." - Andrik Sim
05 How long do the effects last?
The changes made within sessions are often lasting, although your psyche is more like a garden; it needs constant cultivation and care, establishing habits and rituals that support and nurture its growth. We deal with pulling out weeds and planting seeds, but its the regular maintenance and the tools we practice for it's upkeep that will ensure lasting results.
06 Can it be done online?
Yes, it can be conducted online or in person. Online sessions are done through Skype or Zoom.
I was catapulted into the deep end in inner dance. Tom brought my attention to "the space between". I'm finding it a rich and powerful way to embrace many conflicts I perceived to open endless possibilities to change and grow. This lead me to be open to my shadow self and the power which lies there. THANK YOU, you're a honey xxx - Caroline
07 How often should I do sessions?
I generally try to encourage people to establish a regular session time schedule - this is part of establishing regularity for the nervous system to mitigate feelings of overhwelm. At the beginning this can be more to get some of the groundwork, perhaps weekly or bi-weekly, depending on need. Then gradually we begin to taper off and have less regular check ins as you're better equipped to handle things on your own. Of course we will never stop before you're ready and you're always free to take more sessions whenever you need, and the need for this varies person to person. Each persons need is unique in that regard. But the goal ultimately is to establish your emotional independence.
"I remember going through some of my dark corners with Inner Dance and at the end felt ashamed of having these. Tom told me I could come to him but I didn't know how, so instead he came to me and honoured the babbling that came out of my mouth. It was simple but I am grateful he initiated this gesture. Thank you for not letting me run away!" - Clem
08 How long are sessions
Individual sessions are 50 mins, couples sessions are 1 hour 15 mins, and small group sessions vary.
09 How long does the whole process take?
It depends person to person, each case is unique and the severity of trauma or the size of the change varies, within 6 weeks we have a review to see how things are going for you, and adjust accordingly. Usually by within about six months you should be able to notice some significant changes. If this isn't the case we will work to find you a coach/therapist that is better suited to you needs.
"Best 10 day coaching with you in Bali in 2016. Life changing for both Alex and I . Very thankful xxx" - Rachelle
10 What if I don't experience any changes?
In this event we will work together to find you a coach or therapist that is more suited to your needs. Finding a coach or therapist is like finding a good relationship, and in large part it's the relationship that heals, as you re-learn a more positive and supportive way to relate to all parts of yourself. But not everybody is a good match. Despite this though it's usually fairly easy to discern some of the issues you're struggling with and direct towards somebody who might be more suited to your individual requirements.
£100 : 1 Session
£500 : 6 Sessions
I give the first session for free to see if we're a good fit working together, after that the minimum term is 6 sessions. From there we will take a review to see how the work is going and how we'd like to continue.
If money is an issue you can message me. Depending on my schedule I sometimes do pro-bono work or discounts. For couples or small groups we can also talk privately.