How to overcome social anxiety.

Long time friend and conscious entrepreneur Sebastiaan Van Der Schrier over at social anxiety solutions delivered this article today.

It's an summary of his interviews with experts in their field about the thing that he's been working on for himself and with clients for well over a decade, and something that's becoming more prevalent in todays world - Social anxiety.

It's an odd thing to be scared of people, especially since if you're reading this you probably are one.

I would love to say (like most of us probably) I've made it through life without having its effects bring me to spasms of panic in seemingly innocuous situations. But I'd be lying. Through my goddam teeth.

the first time I really felt it's wrath was around aged 18, fresh from an exuberant period of what appeared to my young eyes to be self actualisation. What in fact it was, was a prolonged jaunt through alcohol and substance abuse, which one day found me in a Melbourne hostel, crimson and sweating, mumbling and stuttering in an attempt to push a sentence out of my taught gullet.

I was the epitome of not good enough. I remember realising to my horror that I was a solid 10,000 miles away from anyone who gave a fuck about me. I was just some long haired little shit who knew nothing about anything and certainly had no business talking to actual people.

Social anxiety, or fear of what other people think, is often rooted in deep fears around acceptance, we feel there are parts of ourselves that are so deplorable if we were ever to reveal them to others we'd be ostracised from society and cast out to our impending and well deserved demise.

It seems to be being driven more and more by an impossible fantasy we're encouraged to indulge in about what we really ought to be if we wish to have our needs met for love and affection et al. Poster pin ups, hollywood archetypes, magazine demi gods with rock hard abs and massive tits. Oh, you're not one of those? Ok, no problem, off you fuck, and really it would be better if you didn't try and pollute the rest of us with your imperfections you know? No offence. Thou shalt project an image of success at all times, and thou shalt not under any circumstances let anyone know you're struggling, sad, depressed, guilty, anxious, or feeling anything other than manically depressing happiness 24/7.

And thus the gap between role model fantasy and actual reality leaves us wallowing in a pit of self contained despair. Which, by the way, is also nowhere near good enough.

So how to overcome social anxiety? Ask the experts! Knowledge is power and I don't think I've met anyone with more of the stuff around this particular subject...

P.S. I'm also sharing this article because I'm in it. And if we're honest that's really the bit you should be focusing on.