IDB at Being Gathering, Portugal, 2017

Finally getting round to making a proper post about the being gathering in Portugal just over a week ago. Thanks deeply to everyone who made it out to participate in the IDB session we held there, It was deeply moving to watch people willing to go so far into themselves, willing to feel, and willing to journey.

It was the biggest group I've ever held. About 100 people showed up, with more filtering in as the session went on. In the end we estimated about 150 to have experienced the journey. The mix used was one I put a lot a lot of work into, and it felt like a real privilege to share something that actually ended up being quite personal with the group, and have them respond in the way they did.

Discussing with My friend Ty who also facilitated, we both felt there was a sense of magic in the atmosphere of the event (IDB) It felt that through people's openness, more was being created than just the openings within the individual there was a powerful collective feeling, a sense of us being reminded about the connections that underly the puppetry of the physical world. It was like a layer was removed and we opened up something that allowed a different type of energy to raleigh through into the field. Very humbling stuff to experience.

Sometimes at these events I get a sense of self consciousness, I put pressure on myself to be the perfect hippy, as beautiful and as glamourous as everyone else, as "at one" with myself as I'm imagining everyone else it, or even worse, I try to be "the teacher". I put pressure on myself to be what I think people want me to be, upbeat, lively and in the spirit of things. But my personal inner dance at the festival was quite different.

There was a lot of overwhelm, and in some way I felt disconnected from the celebrations, I couldn't really get into them and spent a lot of time alone just to try to feel each beat of what was going on around. Sometimes I find myself more resonant with truth in the dirty streets of London, seeing the way people carry their pain and still manage to give of themselves in the way they do. There's a humility and utter reality about it. This is my school at the moment. And despite how glorious the festival was, the gratitude I felt for it (clean air!) and how much heart was there, there was a part of me who couldn't wait to get back to work.

What came in the aftermath was this short bit of writing: